I think this is my favorite song tbh I don’t know why something about it just resonates with me and I never get tired of it
I thought I could handle using again
and it’s not like I’ve touched any fucked up drugs lately, literally haven’t touched anything bad since my OD in October
I haven’t been using all day every day either
but I feel like I’m thinking like an addict again and not really sure what to do from here
like I can not afford to go to rehab or any kind of treatment again
i’ve been having lots of anxiety attacks over it and no one to talk to about it because everyone in NA and AA are literally brainwashed into believing anyone who has ever been an addict is intrinsically an addict, and were not necessarily using that way due to environmental circumstances
I don’t know what to believe or how much of this is just college because everyone acts like an addict in college tbh
so I’m very confused.
I just don’t wanna get to a place where I look in the mirror again and don’t know what i’ve become
and yeah I need someone to talk to and I don’t have that about this
Thank you so much!